This week I spoke at Oredev, a developer conference, and felt totally disconnected and invisible. I did not talk to any new people. And new people did not talk to me. At first, I was quick to blame it on a tester identity, but it isn't that as I also identify as a polyglot programmer. I just did not have the chances for a discussion without first being active on it and even when I did, topics changed from tech to life. I listened to many sessions, some really great and others not so much, and came back with a decision on cutting down on conferences.
I used to get learning from conferences, but now my "being aware of techniques" learning quota feels full. Knowing of AWS, SAM, lambdas and step functions takes me somewhere, but the real application of those ideas takes me a lot further. And conferencing is threatening my time for practice.
My situation with this is not quite the usual one. I've been collecting the number of talks I do per year, and I already decided to cut down a year ago. Yet, looking at where I ended up isn't exactly showing the commitment: I have 27 sessions in 2017. 30 each year for 2016 and 2015. At this point of my life, talks emerge from my need of organizing my thoughts and driving my learning, and there are smaller time investments that would give me the same value.
So I wonder if people are finding pieces of joy, enlightenment, thoughts from whatever I end up sharing. Maybe that is worth the investment? There was one women I can thank for from Oredev that really made my day, coming to say one thing to me after my talk: "Thank you for speaking. It is so wonderful seeing women in tech conference stages." Most people say nothing, and pondering on this made me realize one of my speaking motivations is that that I crave for acceptance and acknowledgement.
Thinking a little further, I was thinking of the test conferences I find the most valuable for me: TestBashes. I've come back from those with new colleagues in the community to learn with, even friends. People I get to meet elsewhere, who bring so much joy into my life. But in particular, I remembered there is one accomplishment from each test bash that fills my heart with joy: I came back with a connection that created a new speaker.
Thank you Gita Malinovska, Bhagya Perera and Kate Paulk for making me feel like I had a role to play in the world seeing how awesome speakers you are. Gita and Bhagya I mentored in speaking after TestBashes brought us together, and they never really needed me but I needed them. Kate blew my mind with the discussions we had in TestBash Philly a year ago, when she seemed shy to take the stage, and I feel so proud seeing she delivered awesome in TestBash Philly this year.
There's a lot more names that I could drop that make me feel like I've served a purpose. But these three remind me that without going to conferences, our paths might not have crossed.
So I go to conferences for:
- Collecting ideas that I need time to turn to actions at work
- Making friends and maintaining our relationship
- Encouraging awesome people to be the inspiration on stage they are off stage